The 6 Fantasy Love Types: How Trauma Shapes Your Love Patterns
There’s a moment in every relationship (usually early, often intense) where something in you whispers, “This is it.” Not because the person is emotionally available or aligned, but because they activate something deep, familiar, and unresolved inside you.
What most people call “their type” is rarely about preference. It’s about pattern.
These patterns aren’t random. They’re psychological imprints shaped by trauma, nervous system conditioning, early attachment experiences, and the internal roles you had to play to feel loved. You unconsciously gravitate toward the same emotional dynamic over and over… even when it hurts.
Inside the Fantasy Love Decoder Quiz, these show up as the Six Fantasy Love Types, or the archetypes of attraction that reveal why your heart reaches for certain people and why letting go feels impossible. Understanding your type doesn’t just help you break cycles; it helps you choose a completely different kind of love.
Let’s walk through each Fantasy Love Type’s symptoms, impact, and the deeper emotional longing hidden beneath it.
Before we start, if you want the full breakdown, you can:
✨ Download the Fantasy Love Decoder
✨ Watch the free masterclass on trauma-informed attraction
1. The Rescuer Fantasy: “If I can heal them, they will love me.”
You’re drawn to wounded partners: people with devastating backstories, untreated trauma, addiction, or emotional chaos. You don’t just fall in love; you take on a mission.
Signs you’re living this fantasy:
You feel responsible for their healing
You justify emotional harm because of their “pain”
You believe your love can save them
You stay long after the relationship stops being safe
Why this feels magnetic: Growing up, you may have played the role of emotional caretaker, absorbing, soothing, and fixing. Your nervous system equates helping with a sense of belonging.
Poetic Reframe: You were never meant to be someone’s lifeboat. Your love is not a rehabilitation center.
2. The Savior Fantasy: “If they choose me, it means I’m enough.”
Unlike the Rescuer, this fantasy isn’t about fixing someone. It’s about being picked by someone emotionally unavailable.
These partners are charismatic, distant, powerful, or withholding. Getting their attention feels like winning a prize.
Signs this is your pattern:
You chase emotionally unavailable partners
Their validation hits like a drug
You feel more alive in the pursuit than the connection
You collapse inside when they pull away
Why it feels intoxicating: You were taught that love must be earned. So the harder the love is to obtain, the more valuable it feels.
Poetic Reframe: You do not need someone else’s yes to validate your existence.
3. The Muse Fantasy: “They see something extraordinary in me.”
You fall for people who idolize you at first. They romanticize you, project onto you, and put you on a pedestal. You become their inspiration, their obsession, their emotional oxygen.
Until the pedestal becomes a cage.
Signs of this fantasy:
The relationship starts intensely, with rapid attachment
You feel adored, special, chosen… at first
They later become resentful or controlling
You lose pieces of yourself trying to maintain the version they want
Why it feels familiar: Someone once loved you for who they needed you to be, not for who you actually were.
Poetic Reframe: You are not a canvas for someone else’s projections. You are a human with depth and boundaries.
4. The Twin Flame Fantasy: “This intensity means it’s destiny.”
This is one of the most seductive patterns: confusing trauma activation for spiritual connection. The relationship feels fated, karmic, electric. But beneath the intensity is dysregulation.
Signs you’re caught in this loop:
Instant, overwhelming chemistry
On/off cycles that feel addictive
A sense of soul-recognition mixed with chaos
You believe this person is your “other half”
Why your brain mistakes this for love: Trauma bonds trigger the release of dopamine, adrenaline, and cortisol, creating a chemical high. The intensity has nothing to do with compatibility and everything to do with your nervous system reliving old wounds.
Poetic Reframe: Not every earthquake is an awakening. Sometimes it’s just instability dressed as love.
5. The Potential Fantasy: “They’re not who I want yet, but they could be.”
You don’t fall in love with the person in front of you. You fall in love with the person they could become.
Signs this is your attachment template:
You feel drawn to “almost” partners
You stay for the future, not the present
You excuse red flags by focusing on potential
You feel loyal to a version of them that doesn’t exist
Why this is familiar: You once had to hold hope for someone who never changed. Hope became a survival skill.
Poetic Reframe: You deserve a partner who meets you in reality, not fantasy.
6. The Limerence Fantasy: “I can’t stop thinking about them.”
This is the classic obsessive love pattern, where fantasy overtakes reality.
Signs you’re experiencing limerence:
Intrusive thoughts about someone
Idealizing them despite scarcity of evidence
Emotional highs from minimal contact
Reading meaning into every small sign
Why limerence hooks you: Limerence is often a trauma response to emotional deprivation. Your mind creates intensity to fill the void that another person never actually fills.
If you’re curious whether limerence is shaping your attraction, psychologist Dorothy Tennov’s early research is a great foundation for understanding the phenomenon.
Poetic Reframe: You’re not obsessing over them. You’re obsessing over the version of you that feels lovable in their presence.
So, What Now? Understanding Your Fantasy Love Type Is Just the Beginning
These patterns weren’t created by weakness. They were created by adaptation. You learned to love in the ways you were taught, the ways you survived, the ways your body internalized safety and belonging.
But there’s another way.
A way where chemistry doesn’t feel like chaos, connection doesn’t feel like chasing, and love doesn’t feel like proving.
If you’re ready to decode your personal pattern, here’s where to begin:
✨ Download the full Fantasy Love Decoder
Get your personalized breakdown + insights for healing.
✨ Watch the free masterclass
Learn how trauma shapes romantic attraction and how to rewire your nervous system for aligned love.
Your pattern is not your destiny. It’s simply the doorway to your healing
1. What is a fantasy bond in relationships?
A fantasy bond is a trauma-driven attachment where you feel deeply connected to someone, not because of emotional intimacy, but because of imagined potential, projection, or survival patterns. It often replaces real vulnerability with idealization.
2. Why do I obsess over people who aren’t good for me?
Obsession often comes from unresolved attachment wounds or emotional deprivation. The brain creates intensity—limerence—to fill a void or recreate familiar patterns. It’s not about the person; it’s about the emotional imprint they activate.
3. How do I know which Fantasy Love Type I am?
You can identify your type through the Fantasy Love Decoder Quiz. Each type corresponds to specific childhood attachment themes and coping strategies, helping you understand why certain people feel magnetic.
4. Can these fantasy love patterns be healed?
Yes. Once you understand your type and how it developed, you can begin nervous system work, trauma-informed attraction rewiring, and relational skill-building. These patterns are malleable, not fixed.
5. Are fantasy love types the same as love addiction?
They overlap. Love addiction often manifests as longing, chasing, or obsession—behaviors that emerge in several Fantasy Love Types, especially the Limerence and Savior types.
6. What’s the first step to breaking a fantasy bond?
Awareness is the turning point. Once you see the pattern, you can slow down, regulate your nervous system, set boundaries, and start choosing partners who offer consistency instead of intensity. The masterclass offers a structured place to begin.
